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Road to Rhode Island

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Road to Rhode Island
Season 2, Episode 1
Road to Rhode Island
Air date September 9, 1999
List of Episodes
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Da Boom 		Next
I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar

Road to Rhode Island is the first episode and season premiere of the second season of Family Guy and the first episode in the Road to Franchise. It is the nineteenth episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

While Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents in Palm Springs, Brian offers to go get him and bring him home. But when Brian gets drunk at the airport, it causes Stewie to lose their return plane tickets, so the two embark on a memorable road trip across country.

Plot[]

Brian goes for his usual weekly visit his psychiatrist, where he reveals that he was born in a puppy mill and the circumstances under which he was taken from his mother as a puppy. Afterwards, Brian volunteers to pick up Stewie from his vacation at his grandparents’ summer home in Palm Springs, California, where Stewie frames a maid to amuse himself at dinner. At the airport bar, Brian gets very drunk and whilst Stewie comes to retrieve him their plane tickets are stolen. They stop at a rundown motel and the next day, they have to escape and steal a car because their credit card was rejected. In order to get home Stewie and Brian masquerade as crop dusters in order to steal a plane, which they immediately wreck. As the pair continue hitchhiking back to Quahog, they pass by a puppy mill near Austin, Texas, Brian’s birthplace. Upon arrival they discover that Brian’s mother was stuffed and turned into a table by the puppy mill owners as a memorial. With Stewie’s reluctant help, Brian gives his mother a proper burial. The pair eventually complete their journey home by riding in an open boxcar where they perform a musical duet.

Meanwhile, Lois urges Peter to watch relationship videos with her, but the videos turn out to be pornography hosted by Dr. Amanda Rebecca. She strips in her videos and says sexual things. Peter is initially reluctant but later becomes addicted to the videos, much to Lois’ chagrin. She manages to get herself on the end of one of the tapes in black lingerie to entice Peter. While kissing, Peter rewinds the tape, playing the part of Lois taking her robe off over and over.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Lois: Okay. What?
Peter: Do that Katharine Hepburn impression for me; a...and Philadelphia Story Hepburn, none of that head on a Slinky Golden Pond stuff.
[in the motel room at night]
Man 1: [offscreen] You got the stuff?
Man 2: [offscreen] Yeah I got it, where's the money, huh? I want to see the money!
Man 1: [offscreen] No, no, no, you don't see the money till I see the stuff!
Stewie: Oh for God's sake, there's only one way to put an end to this nuisance. [shouting] He’s wearing a wire!
Man 1: [offscreen] What?! you son of a…
[in the motel room; Brian licks Stewie's head as they are both asleep]
Stewie: [responding to a dream] Oh. That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
[the phone rings; Stewie walks over to the heat radiator and touches it, mistaking it for a phone]
Stewie: Hello? [burns his hand and releases] AGH! AGH! AGH! Oh, damn it to pus-spewing, blood-gutted Hell! Ogh..! [goes over to the ringing phone and picks it up] What!? What do you mean our credit card was declined? Oh-n-n-n-n-n-no, there's no need to come up. We'll...we'll...Oh blast! [trips] Dammit! [climbs onto bed and pulls Brian's collar] Oh..come on, you, get up. Come on! Go for a ride in the car? [trying to wake Brian, he pulls the duvet but slides under the bed] BLAST! Ooh, a penny.
Brian: Oh crap, we gotta disappear and quick. [a truck drives past and both vanish, but further right they're still on the pavement] Maybe we should've jumped on that truck.
Peter: Jeez, can we not talk about curtains for two seconds? I got another one of those relationship tapes. [Lois snatches tape]
Lois: $49.95? That's three times as much as the first one.
Peter: Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes. I...I mean, nickels and boobs. [pause] Money. [runs off] I'll be upstairs.
Chris: Okay, Meg, I'm thinking of another word; this time it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Aargh! Get out of my HEAD! GET OUTTA MY HEAD!
Brian: You could be in magazines. You could. And not just Juggs or Creamsicle.
Stewie: Oh, here's a pleasant sight; cirrhosis the wonder dog.
Stewie: Oh God, you're not coming out of the closet are you? Ugh, why does everyone always come out to me?
Brian: I'm not drunk, I have a speech impediment.
Man: Aren't you a little young to be traveling alone?
Stewie: Aren't you a little old to be wearing braces?
Stewie: Hello? Operator? Hello? Oh God, that's right. You have to punch in the numbers nowadays. I should know this. Oh yes. 867-5309. That's it. No, wait. That's not it. Damn you, Tommy Tutone! Only one thing to do. 111-1111. Lois? Damn. 111-1112. Lois? Damn! 111-1113.
Motel Manager: Motel manager! Open up, or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument I use to hit deadbeats with bad credit cards! Well, it's not an instrument. It's more of an object, but it's blunt. Hard and blunt. And, well, it's kind of like a bat. I found out out back one day when I was raking.
Brian: I just need some time to think, all right?
Stewie: Yes, yes, you've got lots to think about, haven't you? Public drunkenness, grand theft auto...
Brian: You left out the part where I made you smash your head on the windshield.
Stewie: Well, I don't recall... [Brian slams the brakes, launching Stewie into the windshield] Yes, well, I suppose I walked right into that one.
Man 1: I don't trust you! You put your seed in my daughter's belly! You're fired!
Man 2: But Pa! You can't fire me!
Man 1: You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you!
Stewie: I say, walk slower, dog! My Huggies are already holed up in Box Canyon.
Brian: Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. Yeah. Apparently you can do that now in 2000.
Peter: Usually beautiful women don't turn back into you until after I'm finished.
Peter: Lois! This is not what it looks like. She means nothing to me.
Stewie: I read that starlight gives you cancer, but then again, what doesn't these days?
Brian: Thanks for not ratting me out. Is there anything I can do to pay you back?
Stewie: Oh, yes. You remember that episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Brian: Yup.
Stewie: It's on this afternoon. You can tape it for me, and put a nice label on it.
Lois: Oh, Peter. I love you.
Peter: Uh, about a quarter past five.

Songs[]

Trivia[]

  • This is the first of the "Road to" mini-series featuring Brian and Stewie as the main characters.
  • This episode reveals that Brian was born in Austin, Texas.
  • The radio in the car Brian and Stewie steal plays “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” by Culture Club which Stewie says he likes when Brian reaches for the radio.
  • Stewie thinks his phone number is 867-5309 thanks to the Tommy Tutone hit “867-5309/Jenny”.
  • The Pewterschmidts are shown to have a vacation home in Palm Springs.
  • While eulogizing Brian’s mother, Stewie gives an unusual retelling of the Biblical story of Abraham and Isaac.
  • This has been referred to by Seth MacFarlane as “everybody’s favorite episode” mainly by its revelation of Brian’s history and using the song and dance number to show the bickering yet close relationship of Brian and Stewie.
  • During the singing of "Road to Rhode Island", Brian appears as a pitcher in one scene. As he turns around to pitch, his shirt says "Red Sox 86" on the back. The Red Sox previous World Series appearance was a losing effort in 1986. In a bit of irony, when the Red Sox won their World Series in 2004, it came exactly 86 years after they won their last one. Though this episode first aired in 1999 (however takes place in 2000 due to the season airing early).
  • While driving, Stewie and Brian play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, a game in which people link an actor or actress to Kevin Bacon by six or less films.
  • Stewie asks Brian to tape the episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby saves Greg’s life and Greg becomes Bobby’s slave. However, it was actually Peter whose life Bobby saved in that episode (“My Brother’s Keeper”).
  • This episode includes a special commentary on the Family Guy: The Freakin' Sweet Collection DVD done by Seth MacFarlane in character as Brian and Stewie.
  • A scene in this episode featured Osama Bin Laden that only aired once: Stewie sings “On the Good Ship Lollipop" to distract airport baggage handlers from noticing the weapons in his luggage, then remarks, “Let’s hope Osama bin Laden doesn’t know show tunes.” The camera pans to show bin Laden singing “I Hope I Get It” from the musical A Chorus Line as his luggage goes through the detector. This episode aired more than a year before the September 11th terrorist attacks. The entire scene was taken out of the episode in subsequent airings, but can be seen on the Family Guy: The Freakin' Sweet Collection DVD and was added to the Hulu version after 2017. In the DVD commentary, Seth MacFarlane mentions that the moral is that “the FBI should watch Family Guy more often.”

Cultural References[]

  • In the puppy mill flashback scene at the beginning of the episode, Brian notes that he has an “Excedrin headache”, referencing a series of commercials by the company.
  • On a train back to Quahog, Brian and Stewie sing “the title song", a parody of a song from the 1942 film Road to Morocco. The episode itself is a parody of/homage to the “Road to” movies. In the song, there is a mention of the film Thelma and Louise. The song mentions several places in Rhode Island, including the city of Newport and Brown University. It also mentions the banishment of the founders of the Colony of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations from the Massachusetts Bay Colony due to religious persecution.
  • A scene of Brian in a bar dealing with a girl is inspired by the film Leaving Las Vegas.
  • During the scene where Brian and Stewie are standing next to his mother, Stewie spots a picture of Jesus and makes the comment "Look at Jesus standing over there by himself, you think those bulldogs would invite him to their card game," referring to one of the Dogs Playing Poker paintings by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge.
  • Peter says, “This is going to be worse than the time we had to sit through your uncle Jerry’s snuff film” referring to snuff films which are tapes that supposedly record real deaths.
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