Lois Patrice Pewterschmidt-Griffin
Every episode except "Brian and Stewie"
Born Lois Pewterschmidt, Lois was brought up in a extremely wealthy household with her younger sister, Carol. They also have a long-lost older brother, Patrick, who was sent to a mental asylum after he became a serial killer. She met Peter when he was employed as a towel boy by her aunt. Her rich father cannot stand Peter and makes rude comments at every chance he gets. Peter seems to unintentionally do his absolute best to be a thorn in her side. She also alludes to have studied at Kent State University.
Lois is currently a full-time-mom and spends most of the working day caring for Stewie, cleaning the house and cooking food for her family. However, she is also a piano teacher on the side, to supplement the family income. She is currently 43. She is reportedly two years younger than Peter as claimed in "Let's Go to the Hop". However, this is slightly skewed by both Lois and Peter are 18 in "Meet the Quagmires" although only Brian's exclamation that she is 18 supports this.
Though initially appearing to be a typical doting house wife and ideal mother and despite her beauty and sexiness, Formerly, Lois had many dark aspects. Lois appears to have a taste for Sadomasochism (S&M), dressing as a dominatrix in "Let's Go to the Hop", putting out a lit cigarette on her arm in "Breaking Out is Hard to Do", asking Peter to put his finger in a bullet hole and twist it when he accidentally shot her in "Barely Legal" and directing Peter to kick her breasts in "[[Brian's Got a Brand New Bag". Several times Lois has forced Peter to have intercourse with her, yet she sees nothing wrong with this as she believes men can not be forced to have sex.
She has made it clear several times that she never wanted to be a mother. In "A Fish out of Water" when her and Meg go on Spring Break, during the awkward car-ride she tells Meg that she took birth control but taking antibiotics made it not work, evidently causing Meg's birth. In "Peter's Daughter" she instructs Meg on how to have a miscarriage". Chris was also said to be the result of a broken condom in "Emission Impossible", with the resulting lawsuit paying for the Griffin's house.
Her one-year-old baby Stewie is very much intent on killing her. Incidentally, this could be a direct result of smoking pot whilst pregnant with him. Her relationship with Meg is a complicated one after the first two seasons. She has a way of being supportive and destructive at the same time. When being hurtful, she is extremely caustic. Lois rarely (if ever) steps in for Meg when he’s being abused or disrespected by Peter or anyone else and even cuts down on her confidence by deliberately pointing out how much more confident, outgoing, and exciting she was in and after high school, compared to Meg’s self-loathing and cowardly demeanor rather than bothering to help boost her daughter’s self-esteem. It’s been said in "Screwed the Pooch" that Meg is not really Peter's daughter, but her biological father is named Stan Thompson.
However, in newer episodes, she now has a more non-caring personality and will often show absolutely no emotion or interest in some very emotional situations, and in other cases draw pleasure from others misery. Some examples being when Meg was upset about not being invited to a party hosted by Chris in "Stew-Roids", she just gives up, gives her daughter some pills and a Sylvia Plath novel, walks out stating "whatever happens, happens". Meg even stated she loved her in "Peter's Daughter", only for Lois to not even respond. When Brain was leaving in "Quagmire's Dad", she doesn't even look away from the television to state her goodbyes. Later in that episode when Quagmire was stating that his father wants a sex change operation, she leaves the room while stating "have fun at the circus" which could either be a cruel joke at Quagmire or barely paying attention to the conversation. She also has occasionally laughed at Brian such as when she and Peter laughed at Brian when he unknowingly had sex with Quagmire's father and did not bother to tell him why they were laughing at him. It is highly suggested this is due to Peter's constant antics which have severely worn her out throughout the series. In "Jungle Love", she also purposely drew attention to Chris so that he could be hazed on his first day of high school or gave Meg a school lunch in "Stew-Roids" consisting of nothing but food waste and a picture of herself eating a chicken leg.
- Housewife (overarching)
- Piano Teacher (overarching)
- Camp Councilor (Lois Kills Stewie)
- Pornographic Actress (And I'm Joyce Kinney)
- News Anchor (FOX-y Lady)
- Female Boxer (Baby, You Knock me Out)
- Phone Sex Hotline Receptionist (Call Girl)
- Grocery Store Manager (Peter Problems)
- "Chris, that's a terrible word."
- "I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie 47 times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face."
- "My daughter needs a makeover like there's no freaking tomorrow!"
- "Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline, where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside. They're dead. And that'll be our lives."
- (When Meg says she had plans) "Meg, if you don't want to baby sit anymore that's fine, but don't you sit there and lie to me like that."
- "You got to push back a little! You got to get a little rough! Oh, God, Peter! Hit me!"(Brian then smacks her on her butt)
- "I'm like one of those bald eagles on the Discovery Channel. Beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks and I'll use my razor sharp talons to rip your <DING!> eyes out. Cookies are done!"
- (After Peter exclaims he accidentally shot her) "I know! Now stick your finger in there and twist it!"
- "Peter, I care as much about the size of your penis as you care about the size of my breasts."
- "Chris you can't join the army! Besides, the army's weak. Now the Marines! Those are the men you wanna fuck."
- "What was that? What is she your grandmother? That's no kiss, watch this."
- In the Pilot Pitch, Lois had blonde hair and a pink top.
- Lois had relationships with other men, especially those associated with 1980s rock bands, such as J. Geils, Darryl Hall, the "pyro guy" from the band Whitesnake, and Gene Simmons of KISS. Lois also had an affair with Bill Clinton in "Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey". Lois has also had sex with Jerome some time in the past as revealed in "Jerome Is the New Black".
- Lois has went on a date with Glenn Quagmire three times, in "Stuck Together, Torn Apart", "Meet the Quagmires", and "Big Man on Hippocampus".
- She used to be a circus freak, apparently a dwarf like creature, who used a trampoline and shouted "Me likey bouncy!".
- In "The Perfect Castaway" she married Brian, thinking that Peter was dead. It was later annulled upon Peter's return.
- She was selected for an Olympic diving team, but ended up being pregnant with Meg instead. She later became pro-choice.
- She is very ticklish. Peter tackled her in one episode and tickled her until she was screaming for mercy.
- She hates the sound of squeaking plastic wrap.
- She considers herself Protestant but is technically ethnically Jewish, something that both her father-in-law, Francis Griffin, a devout Roman Catholic, and father, Carter Pewterschmidt bitterly resent.
- Lois became a black belt in Tae-Jitsu in "Lethal Weapons".
- As written into the episodes, Lois has had possibly eight children: Meg, Chris, Stewie, Peter Griffin Jr., Dave Griffin, Stewie's Funny Brother, Other brother and Other sister.
- She tries to be friends with other women, but fails occasionally as in "And Then There Were Fewer".
- She has an eponymous song dedicated to her, which was first performed in "Emission Impossible", on the night that she and Peter attempted to have a fourth child.
- In "Family Gay" Peter reveals that Lois is a size four.
- She reveals in "And I'm Joyce Kinney" that she starred in a pornographic film in her college days.
- In "Baby, You Knock Me Out" she was ranked the top ranked fighter in Rhode Island. The episode also revealed she can speak a dialect of Ukrainian
- She is the only Family Guy character to have death threats from outside the family three times, in "Baby, You Knock Me Out" by Deirdre Jackson; In "And Then There Were Fewer" by Diane Simmons; And in "There's Something About Paulie" by the mob.
- In "Deep Throats" it was revealed that she played in a band with Peter named "A Handful of Peter", in which she played the mandolin.
- Peter claims Lois lost a fetus when they visited the museum of staircases and spring-loaded boxing gloves in "Burning Down the Bayit".
- Although her job as a piano teacher had not been referenced for several seasons, it was mentioned in "Yug Ylimaf".
- "Call Girl" reveals Lois' middle name as "Patrice" when she asks another applicant at the employment agency to take a look at her resume. Lois' resume also only lists her as a housewife since 1992 without any mention of her job as a piano teacher.
- Lois claims she used to bowl back when she attended college in "Total