Lois Patrice Griffin
Every episode except "Brian and Stewie"
Lois Patrice Pewterschmidt was born to Carter and Barbara Pewterschmidt in Palm Springs, California. She was raised along with her sister Carol and her brother Patrick (who would be sent to a mental asylum when Lois was only 4 and wouldn't remember him). Lois was brought up by very wealthy parents in an upper-class society, where she was taught to be superior to others and think only of herself and those who are among her on her level. Unlike with most people, Lois didn't let this turn her into a snobbish, and self-centered individual, as this way of thinking didn't leave too much of an impression on her. She was taught to think little of others, but also thought little of acting in such a manner.
When she was 18, Lois went on vacation to Quahog, Rhode Island, where her aunt, Marguerite Pewterschmidt lived. Specifically, in the higher class district of the town known as Upper-Class Quahog. This was Lois' first vacation, without the rest of her immediate family, so this was a big thing for her. While she was on that vacation, Lois had gained instant popularity among other teenagers for her beauty and heir to such a wealthy and well-known family. These teenagers were mainly horny, babe hungry guys and stuck up, popular girls who also lived in the high-class area of Quahog. Many times on this vacation, she visited the Upper-class private swimming pool, where a lot of the activities that she and her friends went on, and where a lot of her popularity expanded. At the same time she was there, a middle-class citizen named Peter got a summer job, working as the poolboy at the same Upper-Class swimming pool, and one of those days, he managed to have crossed paths with Lois. Lois started to like Peter when she first met him and surely thought he was funny. Peter instantly fell in love with her, but it took time for Lois to come around. After she had danced with Peter at the Newport Country Club Dance, she too fell in love with him and their love lasted on.
Lois' father, Carter was very disapproving of her being in a relationship with a lower class citizen, but Lois didn't let him break them apart. She spent the rest of her youth with him and moved into his house with him, (where they currently live). She married him in the Protestant Church of Quahog, much to the dismay of many of her elder relatives. People such as her Carter and Babs refused to show up, but other Pewterschmidt family members such as Carol were there and accepting of her choice in marriage. Lois underwent the Griffin family name and started a life with Peter Griffin.
Lois never planned on giving birth to any children or becoming a mother in any way, in fact, she was strongly opposed to it. Peter wasn't as strictly against the idea of kids, but agreed with Lois' plan because, personally, he was fine with either option. So, they made their agreement and planned to stick with it. However, this plan was not set to last because one night, while Peter and Lois were having sex, Peter's condom broke and Lois had officially become impregnated. When Lois found out, she was terrified and didn't know what to do. The two of them had the determination for nothing, but to get rid of the baby and spent all their time focusing on that. At the time, abortion was illegal in Quahog and Lois was against it, so she rules that out of the options. Peter on the other hand, argued with her, saying that it was the only way to get rid of it. The argument got way worse and out of hand and the two of them continued on in a long-winded fight over what to do with the baby. Peter and Lois had become emotionally torn apart and held a lot more anger for each other than ever before.
Lois' ongoing feud with Peter, really got to her emotionally and caused her to say and do things she didn't mean, to the point where it even made her contemplate suicide. In the heat of the anger, Lois had openly and informally told Peter this in a late-night argument, saying that she was going to kill herself. Peter, also being overcome by the anger, said that he was just fine with that. This argument started and ended shortly before bed, She brought herself to an attempt to leave her house in the middle of the night jump off the roof of a tall building, somewhere in the city. Peter woke up, shortly afterwards and was struck with fear when he noticed she was gone. He drove off in hurry, trying to find Lois. She jumped off of a twelve story building, feeling only boldness and a lack of regret the entire time she fell, but Peter found her shortly before the jump. Peter yelled at Lois and begged her not to do it. This gained attention from everyone else in the city, a few people had taken a bunch of mattresses out, in a desperate attempt to save her, when there was very little time before she went through with it. Miraculously, she survived the fall, with enough mattresses to keep her alive, only she still got seriously injured and put into an arm cast, a back brace, and a neck brace. When she woke up in the hospital the next day, she was shocked and filled with remorse that she actually went through with doing all of those horrible things. She and Peter made up and decided to stop arguing and being so hateful toward each other. Lois and Peter later came to the conclusion that they should follow through with having a child and a few months later, Meg was born, officially beginning the Griffin family.
Peter and Lois are married to each other. Lois is always disapproving of Peter's antics, but usually never steps in to actually try and stop him. She is very passive about what he does and usually only limits her action to a few verbal complaints about the situation.
Lois is Chris' mother. Lois goes in depth with Chris' teenage sexual urges and is perfectly okay with him getting involved with unethical activities, as she used to be quite the slut when she was his age. After all, Meg's never gunna have sex, so it kind of comes down to Chris to fulfill the family's teen-sex quota.
Lois is Meg's mother, but she does not like her. Like with Peter and everyone else in the family, Lois abuses Meg all the time. The way Lois goes about her abuse is usually pretty verbal. She makes a bunch of extremely rude and condescending comments toward her. She also sees herself as superior to Meg because she's far more sexy and attractive than she is.
Lois loves Stewie more than everyone else in the family and is oblivious to his hatred for her. She doesn't understand Stewie when he talks to her.
Lois is good friends with Brian. At this point, she is fully aware of the fact that Brian wants to have sex with her, but knows for a cold, dead fact, that he never will.
Carter is Lois' father and he looks after and protects her. He does not approve of her marriage to that fat idiot Peter, but he assumes that if she's happy with him, then he'll have to accept it.
Babs is Lois' mother, who looks after and protects her, just like her dad. However, like how Carter is kind of rough around the edges and has kind of a hard shell, Babs is softer and nurturing. She's perfectly fine with Peter.
Lois and Carol are sisters and the only two kids from the Pewterschmidt family that have been together since birth. Lois is concerned about Carol's absurd marriage history, and strongly encourages her to stop marrying on impulse, but Carol just keeps on ignoring her.
Patrick is Lois' long-lost older brother, who she used to be aware of, until she turned 3. She holds only faint memories of his presence, before he was put away in a mental asylum.
Lois is best friends with Bonnie and they both chat with each other, go to the coffee shop, go to the hair salon, go to the mall, and talk about girl things. Lois is there for Bonnie, whenever she's going through some trouble. She provides emotional and moral support, helping her get through those tough times. She is the second-hand man in Lois' coffee shop friend circle.
Donna is another friend of Lois' and serves as the token black friend of her group.
Kimi is the comic relief, the id, and the dirty slutbag of Lois' friend group. She is boundless and takes the internal, repressed "fun" desires of the other three, and expresses them openly.
Loretta used to be Lois' friend, but she was also extremely annoying and she hated her. Eventually, she died, so she never had to put up with her crap anymore.
Lois and Muriel were good friends, but then Muriel died.
- Housewife (overarching)
- Piano Teacher (overarching)
- Camp Councilor (Lois Kills Stewie)
- Pornographic Actress (And I'm Joyce Kinney)
- News Anchor (FOX-y Lady)
- Female Boxer (Baby, You Knock me Out)
- Phone Sex Hotline Receptionist (Call Girl)
- Grocery Store Manager (Peter Problems)
- "Chris, that's a terrible word."
- "I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie 47 times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face."
- "My daughter needs a makeover like there's no freaking tomorrow!"
- "Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline, where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside. They're dead. And that'll be our lives."
- (When Meg says she had plans) "Meg, if you don't want to baby sit anymore that's fine, but don't you sit there and lie to me like that."
- "You got to push back a little! You got to get a little rough! Oh, God, Peter! Hit me!"(Brian then smacks her on her butt)
- "I'm like one of those bald eagles on the Discovery Channel. Beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks and I'll use my razor sharp talons to rip your <DING!> eyes out. Cookies are done!"
- (After Peter exclaims he accidentally shot her) "I know! Now stick your finger in there and twist it!"
- "Peter, I care as much about the size of your penis as you care about the size of my breasts."
- "Chris you can't join the army! Besides, the army's weak. Now the Marines! Those are the men you wanna fuck."
- "What was that? What is she your grandmother? That's no kiss, watch this."
- In the Pilot Pitch, Lois had blonde hair and a pink top.
- Lois had relationships with other men, especially those associated with 1980s rock bands, such as J. Geils, Darryl Hall, the "pyro guy" from the band Whitesnake, and Gene Simmons of KISS. Lois also had an affair with Bill Clinton in "Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey". Lois has also had sex with Jerome some time in the past as revealed in "Jerome Is the New Black".
- Lois has went on a date with Glenn Quagmire three times, in "Stuck Together, Torn Apart", "Meet the Quagmires", and "Big Man on Hippocampus".
- She used to be a circus freak, apparently a dwarf like creature, who used a trampoline and shouted "Me likey bouncy!".
- In "The Perfect Castaway" she married Brian, thinking that Peter was dead. It was later annulled upon Peter's return.
- She was selected for an Olympic diving team, but ended up being pregnant with Meg instead. She later became pro-choice.
- She is very ticklish. Peter tackled her in one episode and tickled her until she was screaming for mercy.
- She hates the sound of squeaking plastic wrap.
- She considers herself Protestant but is technically ethnically Jewish, something that both her father-in-law, Francis Griffin, a devout Roman Catholic, and father, Carter Pewterschmidt bitterly resent.
- Lois became a black belt in Tae-Jitsu in "Lethal Weapons".
- As written into the episodes, Lois has had possibly eight children: Meg, Chris, Stewie, Peter Griffin Jr., Dave Griffin, Stewie's Funny Brother, Other brother and Other sister.
- She tries to be friends with other women, but fails occasionally as in "And Then There Were Fewer".
- She has an eponymous song dedicated to her, which was first performed in "Emission Impossible", on the night that she and Peter attempted to have a fourth child.
- In "Family Gay" Peter reveals that Lois is a size four.
- She reveals in "And I'm Joyce Kinney" that she starred in a pornographic film in her college days.
- In "Baby, You Knock Me Out" she was ranked the top ranked fighter in Rhode Island. The episode also revealed she can speak a dialect of Ukrainian
- She is the only Family Guy character to have death threats from outside the family three times, in "Baby, You Knock Me Out" by Deirdre Jackson; In "And Then There Were Fewer" by Diane Simmons; And in "There's Something About Paulie" by the mob.
- In "Deep Throats" it was revealed that she played in a band with Peter named "A Handful of Peter", in which she played the mandolin.
- Peter claims Lois lost a fetus when they visited the museum of staircases and spring-loaded boxing gloves in "Burning Down the Bayit".
- Although her job as a piano teacher had not been referenced for several seasons, it was mentioned in "Yug Ylimaf".
- "Call Girl" reveals Lois' middle name as "Patrice" when she asks another applicant at the employment agency to take a look at her resume. Lois' resume also only lists her as a housewife since 1992 without any mention of her job as a piano teacher.
- Lois claims she used to bowl back when she attended college in "Total Recall".