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Missionary Impossible

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Missionary Impossible
Season 2, Episode 16
Stewie vs. Bertram
Air date December 26, 1999
List of Episodes
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Between Sanity and Madness

Missionary Impossible (AKA "Emission Impossible") is the sixteenth episode of the second season of Family Guy. It is the thirty-fourth episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

Stewie attempts to stop Lois and Peter from having another child.

Plot[]

Quagmire babysits Meg, Chris, and Stewie while Peter accompanies Lois on a visit to her pregnant, newly single sister Carol. When Carol goes into labor, Peter drives her to the hospital, stopping only for cheeseburgers. Dr. Hartman mistakenly jabs himself with several needles and faints, leaving Peter to deliver the baby himself. Reminded of the wonderful experience of childbirth, Peter tells Lois that he wants to have another child. Lois gleefully tells the rest of the family, but Stewie is less than enthusiastic. He feels threatened in his position as the youngest and resolves to prevent the conception of another sibling.

Stewie attempts to interfere in a romantic moment by crying for attention. Foiled in this effort, he smears one of Peter’s shirt collars with lipstick but gets distracted by his own image in the mirror. In another attempt, he chloroforms Peter and utilizes a mechanical replica of him to insult Lois, but Chris accidentally knocks him out the window. When a candlelit dinner threatens to lead to intimacy between his parents, Stewie shrinks himself and a spaceship-like vessel and enters Peter’s body to destroy his sperm.

In his well-armed craft, Stewie easily slaughters the defenseless sperm with one exception: Bertram, who seems to be just as diabolically clever as Stewie himself. After a brief struggle and standoff, Stewie realizes that they have much in common. Additionally, with Bertram’s help, he could accomplish many goals, including Lois’ murder. They part on amicable terms, but Stewie has only moments before the ship reverts to its normal size. After a narrow escape through Peter’s tear duct, Stewie steers the craft back to his room with no time to spare.

Lois reconsiders having another child, to Stewie’s horror. He frantically tries to get her and Peter to resume their plans, but Peter retreats to the bathroom and masturbates with the assistance of a lingerie catalog. Stewie, appalled at the apparent death of Bertram, despairs until he notices a twinkle in Peter’s eye signifying that Bertram is still alive. His relief is only momentary as he realizes that his unborn brother may be too clever.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Lois: Peter, why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes, she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh, I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz, uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty...
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: We now return to the Smurfs...
Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night?
Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular!
Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!
Smurf #2: Yeah!
Smurf #1: Right in the Smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Smurf-Yeah!
Smurf #1: Oh! That is freaking Smurf!
Peter: You're gonna have a baby brother, buddy.
Lois: Or sister.
Stewie: Oh, a new baby? That's wonderful. [walks away] call me when Kojak starts...WHAT?!
Peter: Oh my God!
Lois: What? WHAT?
Peter: It's a beautiful baby girl!
Carol: Oh! I'm so proud!
Peter: But this girl has a penis. Oh, well we'll soon sort that out [holding up a scalpel]
Lois: Peter, no! It's a boy!
Meg: I found my baby book! Here's the broken condom that led to my birth.
Lois: And the resulting lawsuit bought us this house. You're my favorite mistake.
Stewie: Ah, baby books. Nostalgic for the days of chafed nipples and episiotomies?
Brian: Okay. "Insert Rod Support A into Slot B."
Peter: That's what...
Brian: And if you say "That's what she said" one more time, I'm gonna pop you.
Lois: Where'd you go, my little pumpkin eater?
Robot Peter: To the can, because kissing you made me barf.
Chris: Dad, Meg keeps pushing me!
Meg: Oh, like I could! He's so fat!
Chris: I'm not fat! I'm Rubenesque!
Lois: Right, I've HAD IT with these interruptions. All we want is a little time alone. Now you kids go to your room and don't come out for the rest of the night.
Chris: But I don't want to go to my room. There's an evil monkey in my closet.
Peter: Heh, "evil monkey."
Lois: Peter, I love you.
Peter: And I love you, Lou Gossett, Jr..
Stewie: I was here first...well technically third, but no time for semantics.
Dr. Hartman: Why haven't you sent for help?

Songs[]

Trivia[]

  • This is the last episode of Family Guy to air in the 90's, as well as the final episode to air in the 2nd millennium.
  • This is the first Family Guy episode to feature computer-animated sequences. These would later become common starting in Season 4.
  • The code to Stewie’s ship bay is 3515.
  • This is the first episode to mention Stewie's ambiguous sexuality.
  • Stewie says farewell to Bertram using 'shave and a haircut'.
  • Stewie asks the family to inform when the 1970s detective series Kojak comes on television.
  • To make Peter cry, Stewie and Bertram perform the Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes duet “Up Where We Belong,” popularized by the 1982 film An Officer and a Gentleman. This caused Peter to exclaim “I love you, Louis Gossett, Jr.,” an actor featured in the film.
  • In this episode, Peter sings Lois a song about her name. He plays the song using his guitar that he once used years before in the singing group called Hand Full of Peter, which Lois was a part of; however, in "Deep Throats", Lois mentions that she had not seen his guitar in ages.
  • The ship’s computer voice of Majel Barrett is the same computer voice heard in all of the Star Trek series.
  • Both Barrett and Wallace Shawn appeared in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, as Lwaxana Troi and Grand Nagus Zek respectively. Seth MacFarlane is a self-proclaimed Star Trek fan.
  • Stewie cues “Lost in Love” from the 1980s soft rock band Air Supply on his ship.
  • Peter watches the 1960s Batman television series while Lois is preparing for sex.
  • Stewie and Bertram both exclaim their hatred of actor Jason Patric.
  • Peter refers to the Hulk as David Banner from the television series. In the comic books, The Incredible Hulk's secret identity is actually Bruce Banner.

Cultural References[]

  • The title of the episode is a reference to the television series and film Mission: Impossible.
  • Stewie’s dialog after opening the fridge is taken verbatim from an old Sunny Delight commercial where kids root around in the refrigerator and pick Sunny D over the other drinks.
  • Stewie watches an episode of The Smurfs which spoofs the way the characters use the word smurf as a euphemism for an endless number of words.
  • Before Peter and Lois leave the kids with Quagmire, he mumbles “Well, in accordance with Megan’s Law, I’m obligated to inform you...” Megan’s Law, named after seven-year-old rape and murder victim Megan Kanka, is a New Jersey law requiring convicted sex offenders to identify themselves to neighbors. The term is used colloquially to refer to similar laws in other states.
  • Peter asks Carol to say “David Banner, I just slashed your tires” before he rips through one of Ted’s shirts. This is meant to mimic the transformation of David Banner into The Incredible Hulk in the 1977-82 Hulk TV series.
  • Peter finds the Griffins’ pet rock, which were a popular 1970s trend.
  • The way Peter stops at a drive-thru while rushing Carol to the hospital is a similar to a gag to the television series Freakazoid!. While transporting Freakazoid to the hospital, Sgt. Cosgrove does the exact same thing.
  • Stewie storms back in the room and shouts “WHAT?!” a la Ralph Kramden on The Honeymooners, after finally realizing what he thinks of Peter and Lois having another baby.
  • A cutaway shows the Brady family abusing the youngest boy Bobby after Cousin Oliver arrives. The character was added during the last season of The Brady Bunch because the younger children on the show had grown older and were not capable of the same “cute kid” humor they once were.
  • Stewie's line "As God is my witness, Peter and Lois shall not conceive" is modified from Gone with the Wind. Forced to survive on turnips after the destruction of the family plantation, Scarlett vows "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!"
  • After Cleveland sees Stewie escape the Peter robot, he says “I see nothing, nothing!” in a German accent. This was a catch phrase of Sergeant Schultz, a bumbling German Sergeant, on the 1960s sitcom Hogan's Heroes, in which a group of Allied prisoners of war sabotage the German war effort from a POW camp. Schultz, who was sympathetic to the Allies, shouted the phrase to indicate that he would refuse to report the prisoners’ shenanigans to his military superiors.
  • Stewie’s vessel is similar in function to that in the 1966 film Fantastic Voyage.
  • Stewie’s air battle with Peter’s sperm parodies that of the Millennium Falcon and the ships of the Galactic Empire in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi with one of Peter’s testicles representing the Death Star.
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