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Brian & Stewie

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Brian & Stewie
Season 7, Episode 8
Brian and Stewie
Air date October 26, 2008
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Brian and Stewie is the eighth episode of the seventh season of Family Guy. It's the one hundredth and fifth episode overall.

Synopsis[]

In the special 150th episode event, Brian and Stewie get locked in a bank vault with no food or drinks and are they are forced to deal with each other on a whole new level.

Plot[]

Brian is going through his safety deposit box at the bank and the two discuss a sweater, over which they begin to argue. As Stewie goes to leave, however, the door automatically shuts and locks, locking them in and causing Stewie to crap his pants. They try calling for help, but to no avail. Stewie proposes that he can’t leave his diaper as it is and they ponder about what to do, Stewie concluding that Brian has to eat his poop, at which Brian is repulsed. Brian claims that he’d rather shoot himself - drawing attention to a gun in his box and causing a struggle for the weapon. Stewie gets it and threatens him with the gun, until they realize that Stewie has a mobile phone with a low battery. Unfortunately, Stewie wastes the last of the battery on calling a sweater store. Enraged, Brian slaps him, telling Stewie to go away. Feeling guilty, Brian gives in and says that he will eat his poop. Stewie undoes his overalls and they take his diaper off. Eventually Brian forces himself to eat it, the sight of which causes Stewie to vomit. Eating the vomit also, though willingly, Brian then braces himself and licks his butt. After redressing, Stewie is tired and, as they go to sleep, they realize that the next day is Sunday and that they'll have to spend another day trapped.

Brian wakes up first, retrieving a drink from his box. When quizzed about the drink, he offers Stewie liquor. They get buzzed and then drunk; Stewie dances whilst Brian joins in and falls on his face. Suddenly, Stewie requests that Brian pierce his ear and Brian agrees. As they prepare, Stewie talks about the bounty hunter and Brian lets slip that he voted for McCain. Ramming in the pin, it gets stuck, so Brian rips it out, causing excessive bleeding. Still drinking, Stewie asks if the dog whisperer is true and they proceed to converse about it, leading Brian to explain that dogs have purpose in their lives, including him. Stewie denying it in his case, the two argue to the point where Stewie claims that he uses Brian, that he has no purpose in life and that he only wanted Brian to eat his poop in order to see just how low he can go. Pulling the gun on Stewie, Stewie leads Brian to notice that a security camera has recorded footage of the poop-licking, much to the dismay of Brian. Jokingly, Stewie picks up the gun but it goes off, the bullet ricocheting around them and causing them to seek refuge under a table.

The next morning, they awake. Stewie does stretches, noticing his ear in the process while Brian is reading. At this point Stewie reveals that he had had energy bars all along, which he shares. Curious, Stewie questions why Brian has a gun. Brian eventually admits that it was intended in case he wanted to commit suicide. He expresses that life is too much, that Stewie was right about not living with purpose and that he can’t find meaning in his life. The Scotch was for his last drink. When Stewie asks if suicide was the reason for their visit, Brian reveals that it was to deposit money in his Christmas account. Finally, Stewie claims that his only friend is Brian, that he means a lot to him after all and that Brian gives Stewie’s life purpose. Asking if Brian will read to him, he obliges, reading to Stewie. Waking up, the vault opens and Brian carries Stewie out.

After the episode, they treat us to some musical moments, showing the NAAFP Anthem, the Jerry Lewis parody from Business Guy, You've Got a Lot to See, All I Need is the Boy, Shipoopi and My Drunken Irish Dad. Before they can present the FCC number, Stewie uses up the rest of the time to rant about how the FCC actually liked the song when it was supposed to make them think about themselves. Afterwards, Brian and Stewie say good night.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Stewie: I'm not having fun anymore. I think you should know that.
[as Stewie is about to leave, the bank vault door suddenly closes]
Brian: What was that? [tries to open the door] I don't believe this. Hello?!?! Hello, we're locked in!!! [sniffs] Did...Did you just crap your diaper?
Stewie: I got scared when the door closed.
Brian: I can't believe this. We're locked in here until tomorrow and the only thing I've eaten today was a grape Chris dropped at breakfast. It took me half an hour just to get the damn thing off the floor.
Stewie: I'm uncomfortable, You have to change me.
Brian: I'm not changing you, we don't even have any diapers. Oh God, that smell is making me sick!
Stewie: Oh, thanks for making me feel more self-conscious. I can't stay like this tomorrow you know!
Stewie: What I would need you to is eat what is in my diaper, lick the diaper clean, **possibly lick my ass** and then put the diaper back on me. **Probably lick my ass ... yeah you should start wrapping your brain around that too.**
Stewie: [talking to sales assistant Matthew] Yes, that was the night I was going to see The Bounty Hunter. [Pauses to listen to him] Well, yes, I enjoyed it very much, thank you; good memory, my word.
**[When Brian is about to lick Stewie's fanny clean]
Stewie: And just do me a favor and tell me when you're about to begin because I don't wanna be surpris... Mooooon Riiiiiver. My God! There it goes! Haa, Brian, you rock. Thank you so much for doing this.**
Stewie: Hey Brian?
Brian: What?
Stewie: I just realized something.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Tomorrow's Sunday.
Brian: Fuck.
Brian: Try what? I already practically French-kissed your butt.
Stewie: There was no practically about that.
Brian: Wow! Oh shit!
Stewie: Oh, that's so going to be on YouTube!
Stewie: Ahhh, Oh my god!
Brian: Ah, you're okay?
Stewie: Is it over?
Brian: I think I don't know where the pin went. Wait move your hand.
Stewie: Hey, Bri?
Brian: Yeah?
Stewie: How come you have a gun?
Brian: I don't know.
Stewie: What do you mean you don't know? You... you... what about all that liberal crap you're always spewing about stricter gun regulations? You even cried after Columbine.
Brian: Because that was a national tragedy.
Stewie: Oh, it was kind of a regional tragedy.
Brian: Whatever.
Stewie: It's just weird, you know? I mean, you're the last person anybody would expect to have a gun.
Brian: Well, that's why I keep it here where it's safe.
Stewie: That doesn't make any sense. Why have it if you're not gonna use it? Is it like a sexual thing?
Brian: No.
Stewie: Oh, that's a relief. I hate the idea of you getting your thrills pressing a gun up against your crotch. Ugh, just picturing it gives me the willies.
Brian: You know, I really don't want to talk about this with you, Stewie.
Stewie: Okay, okay, I respect that.
Brian: Thank you.
[Beat]
Stewie: Are you sure it's not a sexual thing?
Brian: I'm sure.
Stewie: Oh, good, 'cause that'd be strange if you had fantasies about pressing a gun up against your crotch and feeling your heartbeat through your balls. (beat) Please tell me why you have it?
Brian: I said I don't want to talk about it.
Stewie: But I want to know. Just tell me, come on.
Brian: No.
Stewie: Come on, please.
Brian: [sighs] I keep it in case... I ever want to commit suicide, ok?
Stewie: Wow. Oh.. oh my God you're serious, but why Brian?
Brian: You wouldn't understand. You're just a kid.
Stewie: Well... I could try.
Brian: I don't know, sometimes it's... all too much.
Stewie: What is?
Brian: Life. Everything. Just having the gun here, knowing there's a way out... it helps.
Stewie: Yes, but a gun, it's so messy. What about pills? Even hanging yourself is better, at least then you might grow an inch or two while you're hanging there. Of course when they find you, you might have those Illeana Douglas eyes.
Brian: Hmm. So, um, why the gun?
Brian: It just seemed the quickest way, I guess. I suppose. But I-I-I don't quite understand why you're so unhappy.
Brian: Yesterday when you said I don't live with purpose... you were right. I don't. What purpose does my life have?
Stewie: I don't like when you talk like this.
Brian: Oh, it's true, Stewie. Dogs are supposed to be able to instinctively live with purpose, not even to have think about it, just born like that. But I wasn't. You know, I've tried to find meaning in my life, and I just... I just can't. I failed at everything I tried to do. My love life, relationships, writing. I'm constantly disrespected by the family and my so-called "best friend" who does nothing crap on me for how much of a failure I am...
Stewie: What are you reading?
Brian: David Copperfield.
Stewie: Looks old.
Brian: It's a first edition. It's by Charles Dickens.
Stewie: Ha. Giggity.
Stewie: I like you lot. I guess you could say I... really like you. I would... even dare to go a little further, perhaps. I... care a great deal about you. Very great deal. Maybe even... deeper than that. I... I... I love you. I mean, you know, not in like a, "Hey, let's, you know, let's have an underpants party," or whatever grownups do when they're in love, but I mean, I mean, I love you as one loves another person whom one simply cannot do without.
Brian: Well I... I love you, too, Stewie.
Stewie: You give my life purpose, and maybe, maybe that's enough. Because that's just about the greatest gift one friend can give another.
Stewie: I like what comes out of Lois's breasts better, but I like this too.

** = cut from syndication

Trivia[]

  • In syndication, this is the first episode of Family Guy in which Peter and Lois don't appear, leaving Stewie and Brian as the only characters to appear in every single episode. This continued until "A Filler in Need" and "Supermarket Stan", which was the first episode without Brian and Stewie, respectively.
  • This episode is a complete break from the traditional Family Guy formula as there are no cutaway gags or music used.
  • Brian says that he voted for John McCain in the presidential election.
  • Brian's bottle of liquor in the safe deposit box appears to be Glenfiddich 12-year single malt scotch.
  • Brian eats a coconut mint Jenny Craig bar. Realistically, the chocolate could've poisoned him if consumed in larger quantities.
  • Brian says that Stewie wouldn't know how to use a gun, when on numerous occasions he has been seen using lasers as well as regular guns.
  • Stewie says he cannot undo his diaper, whereas in "Baby Not On Board", he could.

Cultural References[]

  • This episode was inspired by two episodes of All in the Family: "Archie in the Cellar" which features Archie Bunker locked in the basement for an extended period of time and "Two's a Crowd" in which Archie and Mike Stivic being locked in a storeroom, with the sharing of dark secrets. Both episodes were essentially one- and two-man plays, much like "Brian & Stewie." As noted on the page for All in the Family, Seth MacFarlane and producer Kara Vallow are big fans of the show.
  • The plotline is also derived from The Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last". In "Time Enough at Last", Henry Bemis is reading a copy of David Copperfield, which Brian is also revealed to be reading.
  • When Brian licks Stewie's buttocks, Stewie sings "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON RIV-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" in a high falsetto, a reference to Fletch when Chevy Chase's character reacts the same way during his prostate exam.
  • The musical part of the program featured an instrumental number called Errand Boy which was a tribute to a similar number in the Jerry Lewis film The Errand Boy. The music being played is "Blues in Hoss' Flat" by Count Basie and His Orchestra.

Continuity[]

  • Brian mentions the fact that Stewie can invent a time machine, which he did twice, once in "Mind Over Murder" and in "New Star Stew-Dent".
    • Stewie claims this would be his first time drinking liquor but this is not true since he had some in "Mind Over Murder" and "Stewie B. Goode". However, the first was rubbed in his mouth and the second was committed by the other Stewie that was killed by this Stewie.

Deleted Scenes[]

  • The syndicated and edited versions of this episode differ in the following ways:
    • The opening scene of Brian and Stewie introducing the episode as well as the musical numbers montage is edited out. This is also missing in the DVD-version.
    • The theme song is also edited and instead the words "Family Guy" is shown at the beginning of the episode.
    • Stewie's line, "That's science, Brian, I'm not Houdini." is cut.
    • Stewie's suggestion for Brian to lick his ass is cut as well as the licking of Stewie's ass being cut.
    • Stewie's call to Wyndham's ends much sooner than the aired version.
    • Some of Stewie's dialog before Brian says "I voted for McCain" is edited out.
    • The security camera is not in this version of the episode.
    • Stewie does not mention his time in yoga class.
    • Brian does not say he doesn't like strawberry yogurt and Stewie does not mention how he eats the same thing every day out of a bowl.
    • Some of the dialog about why Brian has a gun are edited out.
    • The end credits roll in complete silence.
    • The scene after the credits where Jake mentions he had been searching for Brian and Stewie as well as announcing that to his family is cut.

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